We are run down, and it showed through our Christmas prep. Being in Las Vegas over Thanksgiving, we got the tree the weekend after and then just let it sit there. Only about 2 days before we left to go north did we decorate the tree. It had nothing to do with a lack of Christmas spirit or . . . . ? We were just simply worn down - every night we would make our way home (S in the Saturn, me with the help of whatever co-worker would take me home as we are a a one car family since our "new" van was unrepairable) and collapse. We have been falling asleep cuddled up together on the couch a lot. We really didn't want to go anywhere or do anything but be together - exhausted, but together.
Over Christmas we did all of the appropriate tasks, drove A LOT, saw everyone were supposed to and gave gifts to all. We sent our first Christmas card together, and did all of stuff you do at Christmastime. But I just feel odd. I haven't really had that moment yet of pure Christmas joy and nostalgia. I feel on autopilot. I suppose its normal. I have a huge paper to write, a really tough class to teach, and a lot of weight to loose. My thoughts and goals all seem to be floating out there somewhere and I can't seem to focus on the now. My goals of making more money for my family, making a family, and being attractive again are really important, but they seem so far away. Apparently I need to find some motivation, and apparently it is hard to find.
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