I am not sure why it has taken me so long to get back to blogging. Part of it was the first month and a half of Kalev's life. Sheesh. I have said it a lot, but I will type it here: Anya was a great sleeper but a poor feeder, Kalev? Kalev is a FANTASTIC eater, but a poor sleeper! He is almost 3 months old an I am just starting to get a consistent chunk of 4 hours at night- 5 if I am really lucky. And that is just one chunk. So it has been rough for me, as I need my sleep.
But the breastfeeding is night and day. From the first time he breastfed after he was born he has been a HUNGRY, HUNGRY boy and I have not had any of the concerns that I had with Anya about whether or not he is getting enough food! During the early months he ate about every 2 1/2 hours and I can tell you I was really home bound. But since my recovery took so long, due to the stitches I had to have it wasn't too unwanted. The rough part of Kalev's early months was probably a lot more his gas than his sleeping patterns. It seemed like Kalev wanted to sleep more, but he was always waking up with painful gas. Trying to figure out what to do about it was tricky. There was one particular morning where I threw his nook across the room in frustration. It had been days of no break and no sleep that was more than 2 1/2 hours at a chunk. Don't get me wrong, S is super supportive, but we were super stupid and decided to attack several home projects. We just seem to be stuck in the ghetto for the forseeable future, so after a 2 year chunk of depression about our situation, we are back to construction. Good, but not the best choice for a busy family of a toddler and a newborn. But those moments got better and better, it just took small steps.
The first step was figuring how to get Kalev to sleep. For at least 2 months the only way we could get him to sleep at night for longer than 2 hours was to have him sleep upright on my chest. That angle made his gas and relux manageable. The next step was to get us both back in the bedroom. Kalev refused to sleep on his back, and we were at a loss as to how to safely have him sleep on his tummy. We ended up buying an Angel monitor that kept track of his movement. It was the only way we could make sure that he was safe AND sleeping. It has been a huge improvement in our lives, as I felt like human more than a matress with tits! Kalev is doing a good chunk of sleep at night and then decently after. I usually end up on the couch for the 2 o'clock feeding simply because I don't want his crying to wake up Anya. I feel Kalev again in the morning and S dresses Anya and brings her down.
One of the new things I have been working really hard on is Anya's hair. We got the photo shoot done for Kalev's birth announcement and we got a couple of really nice pics to use. But in every pic Anya's hair just looks disheveled. I made it a goal that Anya would not be frumpy because I can't do hair. I found a website with tons of toddler hair ideas and just started working. Some of them worked well and some just looked crazy. I keep working every morning to get my parting right, or the braiding or whatever. . . . It is getting better, but it is still stressful for me to try to figure out - especially in the morning when I am so tired. I am interested in seeing how the process goes when I go back to work.
Speaking of Anya- good lord she loves that baby. She wants to touch him and help change his diaper all the time. She is always letting us know if he is sad. She comes running and says "Baby too crabby, too crabby!" It is so funny! Recently she has found it hilarious that his flailing limbs hit her. She tries to lay right by him on the floor and see if he will hit her. If he does she just laughs and laughs. Kalev smiles a lot now, and Anya is so happy that he smiles at her. "Kalev smile Anya!" It is just sweet! She has definately decided that she needs to do everything that Kalev does. She has wanted some breast milk and some diaper changes but has been able to be happy breastfeeding and diaper changing her stuffed animals. It is hard at time wanting to cuddle with Anya and Kalev and knowing that both can't happen. It seems that Kalev wins more often because he needs the milk. I am hoping that as he needs less and less I can pick up my Anya time. S and her have become thick as thieves though, and it is super adorable to watch them together. She takes swimming with Daddy every Friday and she talks about it all week. "Anya swim Daddy, Anya swim Daddy!" It makes me really happy that I married such a good man. He is just a fantastic father.
I have to mention the billirubin. It took weeks for the billirubin level to get right. After the hospitalization, we needed to do so many blood tests before the level plateued and then began to decrease. I about lost my mind packing up the baby, and getting to the appointment, having the blood drawn and then waiting for the results. My stitches just made everything so painful. I just wanted to be home with my baby, but we made it through. Even at his 2 month check up his blood level needed to be checked again and then again because of some odd numbers. AAAAaaaahhhhh!
The hardest part of all of this has been S. I miss him so much. S and I have always been aware that we are too dependent on each other, but the amount of time we don't get to spend together now is really, really hard. I love him so much, and I see him, but we are so buys wrangling kids that it feels like sometimes we are next to each other and not able to see each other at all. It will get better- it has to.
There is so much more to talk about, but I need to get going back to the grind. Hopefully it will not be another month before I write again!
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
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