gunshots.

I had had a relatively short bout of niceness in the neighborhood after my encounter with the paint ball drive by. Passerbys have been very supportive and complimentary of our work on the yard. Tonight all bets are off. There have been 2 episodes of gunfire in the last half hour and then a group of kids ran up into our backyard fighting. I ran outside to make sure they had not harmed our grass and to make sure they knew I was there and would call the cops if they persisted. I am aware that the growing season is a good two weeks behind, some of my plants are only now making themselves known. These neighbors being closer to animal then human are probably responding to this delayed time table as well. I hope that tonight is an anomaly, but my fear is that this is only the beginning. sigh.

temperature

So this is the point where my lack of period makes me seek the doctor. I giggle a little bit as I write this. I always grouped women who obsess about getting pregnant with women who care if their towels match, or who nag their husbands about leaving shit about. Apparently life is full of surprises. In this attempt to get pregnant in a time frame that fits the school calendar, I find myself doing lots of interesting things.

Clinic Sophia, where I go, may be the most tolerant of medical experiences. Today I went in (had someone cover my class for an hour, as this is the last week of school) and talked to the doctor about whether or not to "jump start" my body by forcing a period. S and I had talked about this option (after I stopped being an ass and included him on what was going on. I swear, I thought that it would be "easier" for him to just do all of this on my own and then fill him in when I got pregnant. Thankfully he forgave me for that obtuseness. sigh) and had agreed that this one seems the most logical. However, after talking to the doctor about the amount of days we would have to abstain from sex, I vetoed that idea. S and I will talk some more tonight, but I think I need to just breathe and let it happen as God intends it. Ideally, I would love to get knocked up this summer, but ideally I would also love to be skinny, and that doesn't seem like an option - so we deal.

But to help the age-old problem of me obsessing that there might be something more sinister at hand (lack of uterus, S is really a vampire and therefore cannot sire a child . .. ) I am going to try to figure out what is going on with my body. I will continue to take a good prenatal vitamin (or I may go to hell) as well as take and chart my temperature every morning, and take an ovulation test. sheesh. They also stole some blood from me this morning (the woman was amazing and found my vein on the first time - so no fainting! YEA!) to check for other tricky things.

So we are resigned to every other day sex (YEA!!!) and waiting for my body to wake up and realize the reason we are toting around these chunky fat orbs and hips the size of the average doorway is because we are FEMALE, so therefore should probably ovulate sometime this year. amen.