tmi

If I don't have sex with my husband at least every other day, I freak out.

waiting.

So I am pretty sure I am not pregnant yet. Which is fine, this month has been tricky with how messed up S was from his septoplasty. I am worried that I won't be able to get pregnant in our "window" (Some time this summer) and then will be forced to take some weird maternity leave from school which will suck. I also would love to take the maternity clothes that D has offered to me. If I follow her schedule (see above), I should have a whole wardrobe for free, which would be cool.

Beyond the missed convenience of not having the baby during the time we planned. I have this feeling that getting for us, may be really hard. I hope not. I really hope not. If my mother is any indication, I should be able to get pregnant walking by S. But there is some part of me that is so happy and so content, that I wonder if trying to get pregnant is going to be the tricky part that will be our test. To add to my craziness, it seems like EVERY woman I have ever known or seen in my age bracket is knocked up. Soooo yeah.

I guess at the end of it I know I shouldn't stress. If there is any thing that I have learned, its that God has a right time for everything, and when it is supposed to happen, it will happen. But I am me, so I can't pretend I am not stressed. I always stress preemptively, then I am ready for anything that may come. So am stressing - lets see what comes.

fresh.

I gripped at him a couple of weeks ago about how I wasn't sure if he was putting as much energy into keeping the "spark" alive as he used to. This turned into a long conversation and much thought. Today, in honor of having 1 week left of grad school left, he sent me flowers. I have no voice and I am pretty exhausted from whatever fungus has attacked me, but this is so nice. The place he ordered them from ship the flowers when they are just about to bloom so you get to see the whole process unfold. I am smitten by them and are currently using them to block the 4th graders from view.

We spent a lot of time working very hard this last weekend. I must admit I was very reluctant to start working on the yard again. We worked non-stop last summer and I felt that while a lot was done, we didn't really get anywhere. Anxious to get back to work, but taken down by his recovery from his nose surgery, S was falling into a slump of feeling like we would never finish. I am determined, however, to have two things this year. I want grass. I want a vegetable garden. Last year was the first year I didn't have a garden and I don't want to repeat that! Especially with how expensive everything is, I want to cut down on costs as much as possible. So in a fit of, "Oh, yes we CAN!" I spear-headed our projects and dug like a crazy person and left all of the detail work to S. I dug so much that I broke my shovel and had to go get a new one! But shockingly enough, at the end of the weekend, I was sore and exhausted, but damn did we make progress! Two huge flower beds were made and look gorgeous thanks to my darling husbands amazing ability to build everything and anything. We planted two trees ( a Red Jade weeping crab apple for him, a Jane Magnolia for me!), and have moved enough dirt around on the street side to see a future lawn. We still need to finish up some detailing, move some more dirt, and finish burying a wire from the house to the garage, but the end is in sight.

Dad is doing better, he came down twice this weekend and seemed glad for a reason to escape. D is also doing a lot of escaping now, and I worry about not being able to help him as much as I could when I lived at home. I hope college is a soon enough break for him. sigh.

One more week of class til I am done with Hamline! YEAH!