My parents were very nice to stop by tonight, so that helped distract me, and the baby. . . well the baby is distracting by her very nature. However, now I am alone with my thoughts and a little freaked out by the thought of sleeping without S. Since our first date, we have not spent a day a part. We saw each other every day, and then eventually slept together every night. . . except for the two weeks that S went to Guyana. To my embarrassment I actually got so homesick for S when he was away that I had my ex drive me down to S's house so I could smell him as I slept in his bed. Odd huh? (The reason I had him drive down was that I was so scared that my car would get broken into when I was there, and I didn't want to have to explain to my dad why I was there. . . So I left my car at my apartment and had him drive me down. Strange but true.)
Tonight is a little different, as I am in our home, which is full of reminders of S- so no problem there. The problem is our ritual. Every night S gives me his good thing for the day, his selfish thing, and the good thing about him. These little bits of information are what I use to hear about his day, make sure he is taking time for himself, and reinforcing how great he is. After that we usually chat for a bit and then we kiss, he kisses my head, and then we kiss again. We repeat this pattern about 3 times and then we go to bed. Tonight, I will have to make do without.
I love my husband, and I am so proud of all the work he does. However, I do miss him. He is the best part of my life and has given me Anyara- who is everything. I am excited for his return tomorrow, and hopes he has a great trip.
