No time, less money.

So we are full up. Full up of work and baby and obligations. We just made it through the summer with overtime and summer school and second-baby-exhaustion. We are now heading straight into the fall of growing belly and trying desperately to find the money to pay for at least 3 minutes of my maternity leave.

However, I would not be me if I did not long for some sort of break, some sort of vacation before the endlessness of school begins. But we are swamped. Hard to even keep up with the lawn. So we did the best we could and did a day trip up to Duluth. It was fast, but lovely, and it did exactly what it was supposed to. It felt like we left it all for a bit and now I feel "ready" to begin the teacher workshop week on Monday. Well as ready as I am ever going to be . . .

(Our first feet picture together as a family! I know, I know. I can't help it.)

GOOD STUFF!

So among the constant craziness that is our life a REALLY nice new addition has shown up. At the end of the year I was so done with our daycare situation. It just was feeling icky. The whole time that Anya was a baby it was good- not great, but good. But as Anya got more and more mobile and personality-filled it got to be more and more of a problem at daycare. There was so much sitting and snorkiness- I just felt bad leaving her there, and I was desperate to pick her up at the end of each day. Anya wasn't eating lunch very well or napping hardly, so every time I picked her up the remainder of the night was angst filled. So I felt bad dropping her off, I worried about her during the day, and then picked up a crabby baby at night. Not fun. Not fun at all.

I was determined to try to find a new spot for her over the summer. I was so overwhelmed, every place I looked at was so expensive- or simply crazy. And I know that I had some specific needs: cloth diaper friendly, close, and no holding fee over the summer. Then you add into the mix the fact that we were also looking for a possible baby opening- it just got nuts. I hadn't told our old daycare yet, but I was so depressed thinking that we might have to go back there. Finally, I light appeared. One night while randomly searching, I found myself searching google map for any business in the area that might work for us. I happened upon a lone dot that - low and behold- had a website attached. Searching the website, I was happy to find a nice home, a great set-up and a lot of nice details. I made an appointment to go take a look. I could continue the story of the meeting, then the meeting with S, but I will just say - it looked great- they looked great. So we told our current daycare lady of our 2 week notice and signed on.

This is our first week there, and I have to say, it is a slap in the face. It is SO vastly different from where we are, S and I have talked about it EVERY day. We get a super detailed note every day and it is amazing how calming that is- to know what she ate, when she had a diaper change- how she played with others. She is also doing crafts and dancing and singing and having SO many new great experiences. She is so worn out when she comes home at lunch time and takes great naps. She even did a full day there and napped for 2 hours- I can not tell you the last time she did that at daycare. It makes me feel so calm and happy. I went and got my hair done and did not worry about her at all. GLORIOUS! I cannot state how thankful we are that this opportunity has been shown to us. It makes the stress of thinking how we will manage 2 babies so much easier.

SAFE. . . . oh wait.

So last week was our 12 week appointment, we checked it out and all was good. We both told our works the next day. We told my parents this weekend before our trip with them to Olivia for the annual Corn Days. They were pretty excited. And I was pretty excited to be able to tell people why I was so tired and chunky.

Last night (Sunday night) I was in the kitchen dishing up supper when I felt some wetness between my legs. I lifted up my skirt to find blood. We were both a little shaken to say the least. I went and sat down and we called the doctor. The bleeding, which was a very small amount, let up as I sat. The concern was the color- bright red. I spent some interesting moments last night just trying not to move as we tried to figure out what was going on. S was pretty wound up, but I was more fearful. I don't worry about stuff like that- it is already done. Either the baby was ok or it wasn't. Not much we could do at that point. I prayed for God's guidance either way and tried to let it go. I had a little more bleeding when I moved upstairs, but nothing the doctor warned us to come in for. The blood this morning was all dark brown so I felt better. Whatever happened last night seemed to be healing.

However, the doctor said to go in today for an ultrasound to make sure things were ok. Today was the first day of Anya's new daycare as well as the first day of the second session of summer school. There was so much that I needed to do, and so much of it was really physical. Hauling Anya and her things, moving boxes and fabric into my classroom. It just seemed daunting. I still felt a little weak, but I managed. Everything worked out fine and we got the day rolling. The only hiccup was that the scheduling office doesn't open until 8:30, but that is when class starts! So I moved some things around and made the only appointment I could, at 10:10. This time was a huge pain/blessing. Pain because it was right in the middle of the school day and I have a lot to teach on the first day. And now I would have to explain to people why I needed to leave. All fun. The blessing part was now I didn't have to lug/fight/entertain Anya through the doctors office or mess up her nap.

The ultrasound showed a healthy kicking baby. The heartbeat is fine. No tearing or bleeding. All is good. I called S to share and then went to pick up Anya. There was a little crying when I dropped her off, but she seemed so happy when I picked her up. Things were calm, there was no tv and I got a super detailed note about her day. RELIEF.

I am still feeling wonky. Tired and weak and unsure of my body. All of which are not my favorite. But there are some positive things for sure. Just need to keep going and figure out what is next.