Does size matter?

So it's our first tree together. We went with my family to a local tree farm and after careful deliberation chose our tree. Here He is holding the base and pretending to smile while being covered in sap. (But seriously- how cute is he?)

After we got the tree centered, and chopped off of the top so that there was room so the star would actually fit on, we started to unwrap the tree.

Only after we fully unwrapped and decorated our tree did we begin to see how enormous our tree was. We could barely walk around it into the living room! And each day it was unwrapped it seemed to grow and grow. Finally after the 3rd day of moving the tree away from the wall, I wised up and called my parents. They were just giggly. With visions of the Griswald Christmas tree in their heads, they had been waiting to see how long it would take us to realize we had gotten the trees mixed! They say their tree is perfect. . . and . . . so do we. I guess. Anyone want to build a huge fire come New Years?

Pruning

I have a ton of people in my life. Simply tons. However there are very precious few who I consider close friends. I have always defined them as my "4-am friends" - other than family and my significant other I have two. These are the people who I would literally do anything in my power to help.

They were not instant friends. They were both friends of friends initially, but over time grew into true friendships. They are people that I can see once a year or once a day and be just as happy either way. Our friendship is always adapting, but the root essence of it never changes- its always there.

I like that.

Lately I have been loosing patience with friendships that have been overly demanding for what I feel is a lesser return. They put demands and impose obligations but seem to care little about my needs or desires. Since I have the spine of a 4 year-old I have been working really hard on putting limits on what I can feasibly do for and with others. It has been hard to stick to. I hate to have people upset with me, especially when I logically could help them out. But it only takes a small interaction with a "4-am" level friend to remind me what I want in a friendship. What I need.

So I realized this past weekend, in order to maintain my sanity, I may need to do some pruning. Trimming away old growth is always hard, but there doesn't seem to be any other way to maintain the healthy without it.

shit.

Well it's official. Yesterday was the 10 month aniversary with my man. Great right? Yeah it is. He is the most amazing person, and he fits me perfectly. We work really well together, and we knew it almost instantly. (This from the girl who spent 5 years on and off trying to figure out the last guy was wrong.) Since our first date we haven't spent one day appart unless you count the 2 week trip he took to Guyana. Cheesy right? I mean if you saw us together you would want to hit us, or mock us. . . or both. We're just that sickenly sweet.

But shit.

I honestly never really thought that He exisited. I certainly never thought that our relationship could stay at this level of insanity for this long. (By 3 months I am usualy bored.) I always mocked couples and movies like us. I vocally opposed pairs who held hands all the time or spent all of their time together. Did they have no life of their own?

I have had to make peace with this. I have had to explain this change to my self over and over. (My friends and family have needed no such chat. wierd huh?) I am finally really ok with how quirky we are and actually am really proud of our connection.

But shit.

Since I was never part of that girly group who played with make-up, curling irons and combs. I never thought about getting married myself. I have NO idea what I want our wedding to look like or how to go about doing it. I didn't even know what to tell him when he asked what type of ring I liked. I am girl-clueless, my bitterness has screwed me once again.

shit.

Pissed

Just pissed. That email. My head is just spinning. Who does he think he is? We are done, it is done. Done. And even though I know his hurt feelings are nothing more than a tantrum, I am still angry. Who does he think he is? And who does he think he is to me?

But more than that. Just talking to him, hearing his voice, having to deal with him makes me so angry. Not at him so much, but at me. Why was I so stupid for so long? I don't have to deal with him anymore. My life is great now, but even that small visit into the past makes me embarrassed at what I used to call normal.

To do list

3:20 - Students leave, time to run:
1. checked email account
2. helped student find lost homework
3. started to email parent about report card
4. printed out forms for student and brought him to afterschool.
5. finished email to parent about report card
6. emailed another parent about curriculum
7. talked down an over-stressed parent in person
8. updated homework on web page
9. called the museum
10. stopped by the market
11. picked up prescription
12. arrived home, found "lost" cell phone
13. checked voice mail
14. called to verify supper time. . .

He says don't stress, He'll pick up supper.
He says relax, don't worry.

ok.
(I forget how nice it can be to be taken care of.)

Trying to be appropriate

Wedding this Friday- totally stressing me out. I was told specifically not to out-dress the bride. . .by the bride. Not quite sure what that meant. So I asked her. Not quite sure what she said. So I went basic. I found a simple black wrap dress- moderate cleavage, suitable length. Then paired it with aggressive four inch black heels with a wicked ankle wrap. Screams of prostitution.

Why?

Why not?

It begins. . .

Have you ever just wanted something funny to read and in an attempt to prod on a blogger you follow quite religiously, accidentally signed up for your own blog? Probably no. . .