just keep swimming

I am ok. I have told everyone who needed to be told about the pregnancy. (almost) I have painted the kitchen (the cabinets, the wall, and the floor) as well as the bathroom (a little too green perhaps. . .) read books, organized, and checked facebook way too much. It has taken a lot longer for me to feel better (Wednesday was really bad) than I thought, and I am not 100 percent yet, but my body is coming back- slowly. S is out of town this weekend with St on the annual salmon fishing trip. S was reluctant to go, but I insisted. Both on the fact that it is non-refundable, as well as the fact that S never takes a break and rarely hangs out with "the boys" preferring to work himself to death. I welcome any break for him anytime.

I was worried initially about his absence. Last time he left me (the two weeks before Easter 2006) I lost it. I freaked out. I made my ex (St) drive me to his house. (As my dad forbade me from leaving my car there - he assumed that it would perish in the ghetto- I was sure that that would not happen, but couldn't be sure and didn't want to deal with his drama, so I convinced St to pick me up, drive me down to S's and then leave me there overnight- promising to pick me up in the morning.) I was literally insane with not being near him so I comforted myself by smelling his clothes/bedding. Yes. That was me. Not pretty. (As a side note St was remarkably understanding, if not utterly confused by my behavior.)

Being overly dramatic S and I have not slept apart since. (Don't tell!) Even now if one of us is sick we both sleep on the couch. Once in a fit of stubborn drunkenness, I refused to move off of the couch and go upstairs, so S made a make-shift bed next to me. We are that insane. Being overly intuitive, S stated that maybe this time wouldn't be so hard because the last time we were apart we were so shortly into our relationship that we were still feeling out the
reality of our bliss.

His prediction has been true so far. I have been really busy, intentionally, but overall I am fine. It has actually been peaceful, to move about at my pace and rework the house before the craziness, that is school, begins. If S is around, I don't care about these stupid details, so it is good to get them nailed down. I also equipped myself and got some friends to keep me company.


The Blue one is Flomar, and S named the rest, the orange one is Wimbledon, the yellow one is Toro, and the guppy is named spot. They are good listeners and the cats love them- especially their water.

I ran to IKEA, Home Depot, had coffee with my dad after cutting his hair, and I am planning on running to MOA to find jeans and mascara tomorrow. However, that may need to be altered if I do not finish the painting in the bathroom. (It is a little oddly colored, as I picked out the paint on the run. Oh well- I'll try to make it work.)