Baby Spot.

Today was our appointment (of course S came with- he really is perfect) to figure out how far along we are. Since my last period was in APRIL (which is apparently when they count from- there is so much about to learn about in this weird pregnancy world!) there was a wide window of speculation about when I was due. Last week we were told that I was probably between 7-12 weeks along. Today when the shoved the giant wand into my womb to do an inner ultrasound, we found not a alien looking lump, but rather a black spot. Apparently I am about 4 weeks along, so today we saw the egg implanted and the egg sac just beginning to form. This of course makes me nervous. S and I are really excited about this pregnancy and I am aching to stay pregnant.

What?

Miscarriage always seems to be this great looming thing for me. I don't know why. I have no reason to believe that I would have one, but I guess it seems that having a miscarriage would be the only thing that could take away how happy we are right now, so I fear it. It's illogical, I know. I also know that many people have had miscarriages (apparently 30 percent of all pregnancies) and go on to have children- so I am not quite sure what my drama is. They said that I won't be able to hear the heartbeat until 6 or 7 weeks (which is a big mile stone for miscarriages - less then 3 percent after they hear the heart beat) and they are testing my progesterone to make sure that my ovary (they think my egg came from my left ovary- weird huh? I love living in America!) is giving enough to maintain my egg- or as S says, the baby spot. In fact, while waiting for them to take my blood, he made up a song about our baby spot, which is running through my head constantly. He is excited to make up more songs as we go through this process.

So am I.