as is.

So . . . . the baby is moving and shaking and doing big girl things. More and more she wants to eat people food. More and more she wants to feed herself- which always ends with an outfit change. She is pretty interesting now, it fun to watch her make choices and figure stuff out. That is the really fun part of this age. The really exhausting part is the in-between-ness. Wanting to move but not being to sure of it- wanting to talk but not having words we understand. It is hard wrestling and explaining all the time. Most days are pretty good, but I sometimes need breaks or sleep, and it is hard to find that break when the babe and I are not on the same page. S is working really hard at his new job/new position and loving it, but that means that I end up with the baby at the end of the day. Sometimes he doesn't get home until after she has to go to bed. Those days are long. But as always I am blessed to be able to have this time with Anya. She is growing up so fast. I was putting together an album for her birthday and I was overcome with the changes in her over this past year.

In that spirit, I am looking forward to trying for a sibling for Anya. I have enjoyed having my body "back" immensely, but I want to get going on the next one. I am 31 now and I know I need to get these eggs fertilized in a reasonable amount of time. I also want to give Anya a sibling- I really do. I want to get our family moving and we have a GREAT start, but I need to get the rest of it together. I am hoping that all of our plans for the future work out. We had no control over the process last time and the result was fantastic. I just hope we can get pregnant again.

Either I am growing into this parenting thing, or Anya's age is making me have less constant fear for her life. I have far less visions of her demise, which is nice. I feel exhausted, I feel happy, and I feel content. I feel this is where I was supposed be, where I was headed my whole life. Feels good to be here.