grooving.

So Anyara is just about a two months old. Its insane- really. Last weekend S got married. Its odd to watch your little brother get married, but it is even weirder to bring your daughter to that wedding. I guess we are all growing up. I think it feels odd, but I can't imagine how it feels to mom and dad. I look down at my daughter and I can't quite understand how she is two months old, I can't fathom how it will feel to watch her pass other milestones like school or a wedding.

I was really happy with the whole day. S and E had a pretty traditional wedding, which meant that we put in a long day. S and I were able to keep her happy, fed, and adorable for the entire time. Person after person held her, loved her, and commented on how awesome she is. I know that everyone thinks that babies are the best, but it is still nice to hear that your own is great.

We are getting into a decent groove now. Most nights I can count on sleep by 11 which lasts 4ish hours. I then get up, feed and change her, and put her down for another 3ish hours. Granted, the feeding and changing takes about 1 1/2 to 2 hours- but most days I start by 8ish and don't want to die. On bad nights I find a nap mid-morning is enough to get me through. Overall, Anyara is more willing to be put down and is soiling enough diapers that I don't worry so much about the nursing. I still worry, and I probably won't calm down, but her two month appointment is either going to greatly wind me up or down. I am hoping it shows some healthy weight gain.

Looking forward I return to work on May 27th. I am not really looking forward to this as it means I must leave Anya. I really like teaching- like where I am and what I do- but I dread being without my baby. I know I am extremely blessed as my teaching means I will only need to leave her about 3 weeks - but it is still killing me. I do not trust S's family to watch her, and I am reluctant to put her in daycare, so I went out on a limb and asked my mom if she would be willing. Now this goes against every bone in my body- I hate to owe my mother anything. But I find myself more worried about my baby than my feelings toward my mother. I have no idea if she will be willing to do this, but its worth a try.