Month-old.

Well S and I are the proud parents of a month old baby! People are always telling us how fast time flies and to enjoy each moment- but I can't believe how fast it goes. Now, granted, the time does not seem to fly with the same speed when it is 4 am and I don't want to get up to feed a screaming baby. Overall, I am really liking this parenting things. Teaching has definitely given me patience that has helped me to not loose my mind in the middle of a major cry/gas-fest.

A lot of my experience with parenting has involved me not wanting to admit I am clueless. Right after Anya left the hospital she was down to 8 pounds 1 ounce. About a week after, she was back up to her birth weight. A week after that she was back down to 8 pounds- which FREAKED me out- especially because I couldn't figure out why. There are two schools of thought about babies: the first is that babies should decided their own schedules, the second is that babies need to be given a schedule by a parent. We had been letting her pick when she ate, and apparently that was not working. Being a reasonable person, I figured I was failing at the most basic part of my job and killing my baby. The doctor that we usually saw was not available, and the woman I saw did not calm me down in any aspect. Thankfully, S was able to take my freakout down a notch when I got home and gave me some much needed perspective. It was a little frustrating working so hard to get Anyara to adhere to this new schedule. She would finally get to sleep and then I would have to try to wake her up enough so she could feed. Then it would be time to sleep and she would be wide awake. However, all of this hard work paid off and the next week she was back up to 9 pounds. But I shouldn't have worried about the amount of milk I was feeding her as she promptly went into a growth spurt and demanded feeding almost hourly for 2 days. This resulted in MILK for the baby and a little more calm for mom. There is still the worry that Anya does not nurse well without the nipple shield that she needed after she left Childrens. I have begun to try to wean her off more intently, but I am fine with where we are because I can feed her and know she is getting enough milk. It would be great to get her back to just the breast, but I am not going to kill myself over it. After much drama, I am finally to the point where I feel good about breastfeeding- and it is a great place to be.

I am finally getting a little stir-crazy in the house. For a good chunk, I was really fine to stay indoors. For a while, it seemed like a huge ordeal to leave the house, but it is getting much easier. I was ready to head out on more day trips before Anya went into her feeding frenzy last week. There has been a little too much couch/tit time for me. I am also a little worried about loosing this weight. I got a huge chunk of my belly out of the way within the first couple of weeks, but now there is a chunk around my middle that seems reluctant to go. I am hoping that if Anya can go back to having a couple of hours between feedings, we can get out and walk around more. The weather has been fantastic as of late with this week boasting temps in the 70's, so there is a huge incentive to be out and about.

I love our baby, and I love watching S with Anyara- it is beautiful. However, I am missing sex desperately. I am glad that I want to have sex, but I am a little apprehensive about how I have healed. I hope all is well- anyway we have 2 weeks to finish healing and then we will give it a whirl!