waiting.

So I am pretty sure I am not pregnant yet. Which is fine, this month has been tricky with how messed up S was from his septoplasty. I am worried that I won't be able to get pregnant in our "window" (Some time this summer) and then will be forced to take some weird maternity leave from school which will suck. I also would love to take the maternity clothes that D has offered to me. If I follow her schedule (see above), I should have a whole wardrobe for free, which would be cool.

Beyond the missed convenience of not having the baby during the time we planned. I have this feeling that getting for us, may be really hard. I hope not. I really hope not. If my mother is any indication, I should be able to get pregnant walking by S. But there is some part of me that is so happy and so content, that I wonder if trying to get pregnant is going to be the tricky part that will be our test. To add to my craziness, it seems like EVERY woman I have ever known or seen in my age bracket is knocked up. Soooo yeah.

I guess at the end of it I know I shouldn't stress. If there is any thing that I have learned, its that God has a right time for everything, and when it is supposed to happen, it will happen. But I am me, so I can't pretend I am not stressed. I always stress preemptively, then I am ready for anything that may come. So am stressing - lets see what comes.