panic attack.

My mother was rushed to the hosptial last night. Had a panic attack or something. She was at home with my brother after teaching piano lessons. He followed her to the hosptial. My father was out trying to get this car running. It was a Lincoln Towncar, to replace the one he had had before. The oil pump broke, wreaking the car. He was pretty bummed when I talked to him about it. More bummed about the car than my mother.

Me too. My dad's attitude toward my mom is the result of doing nothing but giving to a self-absorbed woman for the last 30 years. He is worn. He is tired, but mostly he is numb. I find myself there as well. I called both of my brothers last night to check in, I talked/argued/encouraged my father for a while. I haven't called my mom. I don't know what to say. She said she is depressed about my brother dying, her dad dying, about watching an episode of Lost, who knows? I am so tired of her being sad - or needing to be sad. I know I should be able to handle this better, but I am so angry at how she continues to damage the rest of my family, that I can't seem to make peace, even for a moment, with her.