alone

I am not sure quite how it happened, but I have become an actualized conservative. Not a republican, or a member of the christian right, but a conservative. Initially this was simply a rethinking of my core belives that resulted in the realization of the title. Now however, I find the way I believe my life and my country to be in direct challenge to my profession. Minnesota is typically a liberal state and the teaching profession as well. So my day to day interactions are always slightly in favor of everything I do not believe in. No where has this come into such sharp contrast as in my graduate classes. I have been astounded by the uneducated statements that have been uttered as fact in my time there.

This Saturday was my last grad school class after meeting for two years with this small group of 20. Two years of papers, projects, and discussion. Now my final paper has yet to be finished, and I must persevere through the next two months to complete it, but regular classes are done. I also must admit that my frustration level at this point is a combination of many things, but I simply could not manage to make it to the congratulatory luncheon that all of my classmates were to attend after the final class. Given the overwhelming nature of my feelings, I could not bear to make silly small talk. I left. I left without even really saying goodbye to these people.
I am still not completely sure if it was the right decision, but I was done. Done with all of the mindlessness. For the first time in a while I am truly reconsidering my career - or at least my place in it.