A moment of peace.

Today is the second day home with Anya, and the 4th day of her croup episode. She is doing much better today, and looks like she will be back at daycare tomorrow. Today she has wavered between okay and still needing a lot of attention, but either way it has been a nice day. I have been on movement lock-down since the doctor said I had 3 weeks to bring Kalev's weight up or bedrest. So I have been doing the minimal around the house and today, I took the opportunity to clean off a bench and a table top that has been bothering me for some time.

Tomorrow, we go to find out how the baby is doing and what the plan is for the rest of the pregnancy. Tomorrow we all head back to work and daycare and the normal grind. Right now she is upstairs sleeping and I have this small moment to chill. It is never nice to have a sick child, but S and I have both enjoyed the extra cuddle time with Anya over the last few days. It makes me want to freeze this moment before we are a family of four for just a moment longer. I am so excited to see Kalev, and to see Anya and Kalev together. But if I am honest, I know how much work it is going to be with two kids and work. So for now, I am content to chill in this moment and enjoy life as it is. I can only imagine my life 3 months from now.

Too small.

So I went in at my 24 week appointment to finish up the remainder of the ultrasound that our stubborn boy refused to sit still for. I had planned to take Anya and S with, but I missed my first scheduled appointment and had to make due with a over-the-lunch appointment by myself. So I was alone and a little shocked when the doctor informed me that Kalev's length was in the 47th percentile, but his weight and head was in the 14th. AAAAAaaaaahhh! So they were concerned and told me to cut down the stress and the movement and to EAT MORE. This was a little alarming to me as I work full time, and then try to wrangle a 20 month old until S gets home. Not a lot of time for relaxing or reflecting. To make things more fun, they informed me that if I did not bring up his weight in the time before my 28 week appointment, that they were going to put me on bed rest. I repeat .. . . BED REST. We have been scrimping to just figure out how to pay for the maternity leave, no way can we make an extra 3 months of bed rest figure into the budget. So needless to say, we went a little nuts. Sure we are worried about Kalev and we are worried about what having to go on bed rest would mean to our family. It is all just so much to process. I am doing my best to just chill out and do as little as possible, which is hard for me, really hard for me. Anya is doing great on the potty training, but that means she still needs to be plopped up on the toilet. And she is testing the limits- so she runs around and does "dead baby" when things aren't going her way- all things that require me to be physical. But I am cutting down on the errand running after work- which results in my dinner tonight which was made without flour or butter or chicken stock. But more importantly I am eating small meals all day long and doing my best to stay seated as much as possible. The only things is I don't know if any of this is working. Kalev may be growing well and making up lost time, or still really low. So we will go in a couple of weeks and hope for the best. Until then, I am going to stay seated.. . . . and eat.